A Guide To Being Single In NY, By Singles In NY

I had thought a lot about what kind of guide I wanted to write for New York City. The options were endless: the best brunches, hidden speakeasies, late-night bites, etcetera, etcetera. But, it’s also the city that I call home. So when I thought about the seemingly limitless options, I thought about what having that in a city really means. How could I help people narrow down their options in a guide? What would I want to know? And it brought me to one all too familiar facet of living in New York City, dating.

I wanted to write a guide that hit close to home for every single in the city. For each one who has gone out and said ‘tonight’s my night, I’m going to put myself out there and meet someone,’ and stayed home the next without any hope at all. This is for you.

I asked 16 singles from all corners of the five boroughs a set of five simple questions, each geared to helping fellow singles out. Suffice to say, the answers were enlightening. From what singles should always carry with them to where you can actually meet fellow singles day or night, it’s all right here.

Sarah, 41, female, interested in men

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life? Mainly bars and restaurants. The Penrose on the UES, Employees Only in West Village, bars on Stone St in FiDi although it skews a little young. Hotel bars seem to be another good place. Anywhere as long as you’re friendly and approachable.
  2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? A café or fitness class. To meet guys, Crossfit or boot camp. To meet girls, yoga or Pilates.
  3. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? I like to a start with drinks, with the option for a bite to eat if we hit it off.  Location is usually neighborhood dependent, I don’t have a go-to. Quality Eats, Pil Pil, Sojourn, Uva are good for date night bites. Auction House is good for drinks with a dark vibey feel. West village, maybe L’Artusi, The Spotted Pig or Aria if you can get a seat. Bocce in Union Square is an easy place to meet for a drink in warm weather since it’s convenient to a lot of neighborhoods and you have an easy escape route by subway if needed.
  4. What’s something every single should carry with them? A smile, a positive attitude, and breath mints.
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence:  All the highs and all the lows. Sometimes in the same night!

Tripp, 25, events manager, male, interested in men

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life? Ludlow House, et al, Felix on Sundays.
  2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? The Met, walk around Soho, the pool at Dumbo House in summer, Lilia Caffé.
  3.  Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? Drinks with a contingency for dinner if it goes well. If it does, Little Prince, Primo’s, Lucien.
  4. What’s something every single should carry with them? Hand Sanitizer.
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence: The stars and schedules must align.

Natalie, 26, writer, female, interested in men

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life? Williamsburg and Bushwick, anywhere the has a good beer selection is usually where men are.
  2.  If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? The Strand Bookstore.
  3. What’s something every single should carry with them? A phone charger.
  4. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? Definitely drinks, somewhere where you can have a small snack too, or where there’s some type of entertainment. I love St.Mazie, Dante, Saraghina.
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence: Did he text back?

Rami, 34, tech entrepreneur, male, interested in women

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life? I usually meet people when I’m out. Good places are The Blond at 11 Howard, et al.
  2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? Daytime I usually don’t, but wish I could! I work in tech, it’s not the easiest industry to date from!
  3. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? I go for drinks unless the girl doesn’t drink. Drinking can always lead to dinner later, but if it’s a first date better to not commit to a lengthy dinner without knowing you’ll enjoy the company.
  4. What’s something every single should carry with them? Single people should always carry a credit card. NYC is an expensive city for dating ;).
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence: There is someone for everyone.

Todd, 28, writer, male, interested in men

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life? I always love a beer garden kind of vibe. The Standard Biergarten is a great vibe, and Houston Hall is another favorite. Somewhere casual, somewhere low-key where everyone leaves their pretense at the door.
  2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? It’s always helpful to take a look at who is crossing paths with your everyday life. Who is going to the same coffee shop or the same gym? Who is waiting for the subway next to you every morning? Look around!
  3. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? Dinner, always. I want to take my time and get to know someone. I like sushi, Sugarfish is fun if you can get a table, and Omen in Soho has a sexy vibe.
  4. What’s something every single should carry with them? A chapstick and some condoms…you never know.
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence: When you’re down for anything, anything can happen.

Dee, sales manager, 27, female, interested in men

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life? Intentional community gatherings, especially intimate group dinners, Sofar Sounds.
  2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? Meditation and yoga events.
  3. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? Ippudo.
  4. What’s something every single should carry with them? Lip gloss.
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence: Don’t get too excited.

 Marianne, 34, registered nurse, female, interested in men

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life? I like running and being outdoors. I’ve found some luck meeting people through the running community, groups and running through the city and its parks. I also love the idea of meeting someone at a music venue and bonding over that shared experience, but that has yet to happen for me.
  2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? Sheep Meadow, shopping at REI.
  3. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? Drinks with snacks, I don’t like the commitment of dinner. My go-to spot is Dante in the West Village.
  4. What’s something every single should carry with them? Condoms and a toothbrush.
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence: Not for the faint of heart.

Rowan, 28, male, sales, interested in women

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life? Juice bars, barre classes, I’m targeting Lululemon chicks.
  2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? Sweetgreen.
  3. What’s something every single should carry with them? A dog.
  4. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? Drinks and if it’s going well then onto dinner. If it’s going really well then onto breakfast.
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence: Welcome to the jungle.

Tanya, 28, FP&A manager, female, interested in men

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life? Bars, mainly in Downtown Manhattan. A few favorites are Gospel, The Standard, East Village, Mr. Purple, Broken Shaker, Bathtub Gin, La Esquina.
  2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? At the gym or a coffee shop.
  3. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? Drinks! Death & Co, Cafe Select, Attaboy, Dear Irving, Ruffian Wine Bar.
  4. What’s something every single should carry with them? A condom and probably a credit card.
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence: A fuckboys heaven 😂.

Jake, 26, ad executive, male, interested in men

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life?  Usually a gay bar, either Metro or The Eagle just depends on my mood or my friends’ moods. If I’m going out just for drinks I’d go to The Commodore or Yours Sincerely.
  2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? A coffee shop or a workout class.
  3. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? Drinks 100%. Dinner is too much of a commitment. If they end up being a douche I don’t want to waste my time or money on some clown. Go-to is anywhere near my apartment, Rebecca’s, The Narrows.
  4. What’s something every single should carry with them? I don’t know if this is specific to singles but you should always have gum/mints on hand at all times.
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence: An exhausting, time-consuming task that everyone hates.

Emily, 27, producer, female, interested in men

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life? Bars, restaurants, group dinners, friends of friends, work.
  2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? Soho House lol.
  3. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? Dante, Entwine, Mimi, Malatesta.
  4. What’s something every single should carry with them? Mints?
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence: Difficult, sporadic, when you’re on fire, you’re on fire, when you’re going through a drought, it’s REALLY dry.

Steven, 27, sales, male, interested in women

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life? On the street, bars, coffee shops, anywhere I find someone attractive or interesting. Popular bars are best: The Flower Shop, The Garrett.
  2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? Dog parks, supermarkets (Whole Foods is best), but I don’t go looking for dates, rather just ask someone out if I am interested no matter the setting.
  3. What’s something every single should carry with them?  Every single man should carry breath mints, crucial in making a good impression, and a must if you want the first kiss to be as pleasant as possible.
  4. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? Drinks, dinner is too much pressure. My go-to for drinks would be a chill bar that offers cozy seating and promotes conversation. Not too loud and preferably strong drinks, Garfunkel’s is a great example in the LES.
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence: Tough, mainly for women! Assuming dating actually means looking for a partner, not some fun.

Amanda, 27, account manager, female, interested in men

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life?  Gospel, Paul’s Baby Grand.
  2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? The West Side Highway, Dumbo or Williamsburg waterfront.
  3. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? Drinks. Café Select, The Metrograph, The Standard East Village, Primo’s.
  4. What’s something every single should carry with them? JUUL.
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence: A domino effect, forwards and backward.

Gabriel, 35, hotels, male, interested in women

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life? The best in IRL meetups and intros have been at my corner deli! The Flower Shop, Rockaway Beach Surf Club in the summer are also good.
  2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? The beach is always a good spot!
  3. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? Sucker for Dudley’s.
  4. What’s something every single should carry with them? Pack of gum.
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence: The dating scene like the food scene, there’s something tasty for everyone 😊.

 Erin, 26, graphic designer, female, interested in men

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life? Friends parties or events.
  2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime?  A gallery? Or a coffee shop. I’m always at work during the daytime!
  3. What’s something every single should carry with them? Uhhh… a phone?
  4. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? Definitely drinks.
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence: It moves quickly. You can have a six-month relationship in three it seems.

Barbara, 29, model, female, interested in men

    1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life? House parties and events.
    2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? Workout classes, daytime BBQs.
    3. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? Definitely drinks. My go-to’s are Little Prince, Sixty Soho rooftop, Café Select, Crosby Street Hotel.
    4. What’s something every single should carry with them? Disinfecting gel wipes LOL..so me.
    5. Dating in New York in one sentence: It’s a jungle.

Justin, 31, partnerships at Waze, male, interested in women

  1. Where do you go out to meet new people in real life? Tough question because I never really go out with the intention of meeting new people; just kind of happens. With that being said, bars I prefer: Von to dance the night away down in the basement, Mother’s Ruin, I live right next door, and for some reason, always has a solid single crowd, and Rusty Knot because whoever doesn’t like this bar, literally don’t want to be friends with them.
  2. If it’s not at a bar, where might you go in the daytime? McNally Jackson Books, I would normally never put this on a list to meet singles but I actually met a girl there last weekend, changed my entire viewpoint. South Street Seaport, actually drink here too, but the overall scene in summer/fall is great.
  3. Dinner or drinks on a first date? Where’s your go-to? Always drinks on a first date. It keeps you AND your wallet flexible, plus it makes it way more casual. It’s great for both us. If she doesn’t like me, I don’t want her to have to sit through an entire dinner with me. Brutal.
  4. What’s something every single should carry with them? Every single person should carry gum/mints. Everything else (chapstick, condoms, etc) I can pick up in between bars or after. But when you have stale beer breath and you run into a cute girl, it instantly kills the vibe.
  5. Dating in New York in one sentence: I would say it is an understood dating scene that’s different from anywhere else but everyone who is in it, gets it.

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